Why Do I Want to be a Mom at Home?

Baby-global

Image via Wikipedia

* chuckles * Ahem. Well, I don’t want to be a mom at home. But several of my friends do, and one of them gladly offered to write a guest post about it for me. Wasn’t that nice of her? Yes, it was.

Anyways, without further ado and preliminary pontification, here is Kaitlyn’s post.

In today’s rampant feministic culture, there are two terms viewed as the most degrading titles that could possibly be attached to womankind.  These are the “Stay at Home Mom” label, and the “Homemaker” designation.  These two words, when spoken, immediately lower your status as a woman.  Why is that?  When did fulfilling the most rewarding and influential job become a social death?

Being a Homemaker is one of the most rewarding jobs womankind can ever have. Society says you aren’t a productive, contributing member of the social order; I say, hogwash!  These women spend their lives pouring into the next generation.  How can there possibly be no power behind she who molds the future?

Society’s expectations require most people to sacrifice their own integrity and identity, turning them into something they are not, simply to fit a norm. If you don’t go out of your way to fit that norm, then you’re shunned. You have now fallen into a no-win situation.  We allow society to run our lives way too often. As humans we have a propensity to follow what culture says, not necessarily what we actually believe.

Let me ask you this; have you really looked at what society wants?  Do you want to be there for your daughter’s first laugh, her first steps, or would you rather have someone else tell you about them because you had to be in a corporate meeting?  In essence, when all is boiled down, you are being asked to give up your life with your child for a dog eat dog world.  For many it is a very hard decision, one with lasting effects either way, but one that is worth the contemplation. In my exodus from feminism, I have found that a child can never be replaced.  This is a serious issue we are discussing, one that often just gets swept under the rug.

I was once antagonistically challenged about why I wanted to be a Homemaker.  What glory could ever come from such a role?  In an effort to keep my tongue from running needlessly and becoming defensive towards my contender, I wrote this response:

A Homemaker?  Why?

In today’s culture I believe it is vitally important for a young woman to know why she wants to be a homemaker.  In response to said question I have thought out my answer.  I want to be a homemaker because…

I can stop my children at any time of day and say ‘Let us praise the Lord’.

We can lay by the fire and listen to Daddy reading from the Bible as our imaginations act out the story of David and Goliath.

I can be there whenever they need; I’m available for them at any time of day!

I can knit a feather soft blanket while I rock in my rocker, teaching a little one to read.

My children will get to lick bowls and spoons of chocolate cake batter (home made of course, and no white flour please!) and smile with chocolate covered lips.

We can play Legos on an old rag rug that we made ourselves.

We can finger paint.

I can make little iced cookies in the shape of hearts.  Then me and the little people who call me Mommy can sit down and eat them with the goat’s milk we milked ourselves.

We can play with peanut butter play dough and then eat everything we have constructed.

I can spend the time to make the house warm and inviting for the man of my castle who has spent a long hard day on the battle field.

I’ll get to be my husband’s wife, and not the boss’ secretary.

I can spend life with that special man and be his help mate.

I can learn to read my husband’s thoughts.

I can sprawl across my fourteen-year-old’s bed and just listen.

My boys can bring in frogs to show me, or display their 12’’ snake they just caught (no poisonous ones please, mommy doesn’t like that kind).

I can grab the camera and capture that Kodak moment of the boys in a full blown mud fight (no cow pies please boys).  I proceed to smile and shake my head; hand on my hip of course, at those mud spattered boys who want to come in my house.

Then I get to send them out to the hose and spray them off myself!

I can fill mason jars full of pretty honey jellies and preserves, then watch my six year old slather his whole wheat toast with it, licking his lips in anticipation.

We can catch tadpoles in the pond and watch them grow.

When we go shopping at the store I can proudly say, ‘Yes, they are all mine, and yes, we are having more!’

When the kids get sick I don’t have to call the baby sitter or cancel from work.  I can just nurture and comfort them without any hassle or groan.

We can snuggle on the couch under our thick colorful quilt and drink homemade chicken noodle soup from our favorite mug while watching Facing the Giants.

Snuggling is good for the soul!

We can go outside in the fresh snow and build a snow family.  Then we can come in and warm our hands around a nice big mug of hot honey cocoa.

I can crawl around on hands and knees in the garden looking for wooly worms with my ecstatic diapered helpers.

My two year old can kiss me whenever he wants, and I can kiss him whenever I want.

We can put vinegar and baking soda together into a jar and cap it with a balloon for our science experiment.

My little girls can come to me and ask how long to cook their stew.

My boys can bring me their newest addition of holey jeans to patch.

We can read G.A. Henty before nap-time; every child should grow up with those.

I can spend the time to French braid my little girl’s hair.

I can give my baby a bath and spend that extra moment just breathing in their fresh skin.

I can simply make the house feel like home.

I can dictate what I want to do and when.  How many high, well paid officials can do that?

I can be a role model for my girls.

I can raise my baby instead of the baby sitter or daycare doing it.

I will know where my little ones are and what they are doing because they’re with me.  I don’t have to ask “How was your day today?”  I already know!

I want to be a homemaker, because no one will know that man’s heart like me, and no one will have the hearts of our children but us (well, and Grandpa of course).

Don’t think I won’t be busy; my work is never done.  I will have “the time”, but not for worldly pursuits.  I will have the time for nurturing and growing, for teaching and training, for watching and raising my children to grow to maturity.  I will have “the time”` because I have made my family and my home my life.

I wear many corporate hats.  Teacher, Doctor, Psychologist, Therapist, Coach, Referee, etc.
I don’t put in a time card, my work is twenty four seven.  I don’t drive away for work; I need not leave my home to find my purpose.

My job is the most fulfilling womankind has ever known.  After all, my occupation is encapsulated in the beautiful words of Wife and Mommy.

Why will I be a homemaker?  Because I get to be at home, and that is just where God intended me to be.

Envy me my friend, or think ill of me for my choices, but never never pity me; for who could pity love?

I never received an answer to my letter.  Perhaps it was just as well, but let me ask you all a fundamental question.  When did it become wrong for a woman to spend her life loving and caring for her family?  When did it become wrong to be servants of the Lord pouring our lives into eternal souls who will not fade away with time?  The corporate world will one day end.  Will woman kind be found having poured their lives into objects that fade into dust?  Or will her legacy live on in the lives of her children and their children’s children?

Society looks on this role as demeaning, degrading to women.   I have found quite the opposite.  I view society’s demands that woman leave this sacred sphere of influence to be the height of degradation.  Give up my most sacred and glorified calling? For what, may I ask?  I’ve never found anything more rewarding then having my three year old sister run to me, her little arms entwined around my neck, her face nuzzled against me; and she’s not even my child.  I have never found anything that made me feel more loved or needed than my 16 month old brother grasping my finger, his heart rate easing as I softly sang to him in his times of distress.

I believe that women are very capable in the work place.  They are strong, intellectual, articulate, and devoted.  We as women want to change the world, make it a better place.  But I pose this closing thought to you.  Why isn’t strong, intellectual, articulate and devoted women changing their families vitally important?  They aren’t just changing their sphere of influence; they are crafting and molding the next generation, and, by default, the world and its future.  John Piper once said a mother on her knees had more power than any high dollar big shot in the corporate world.  When the women of our culture realizes that women have been changing the world for centuries in their homes and through their children, then we might see a massive change in our world as we know it.

Children need consistent and constant love and attention, parents united together to guide them through childhood so that they may learn to steer by the time they are adults.  Families now are broken apart, and that fragmentation is damaging for everyone. Mothers need to be a safe place for children again; a source of comfort and nurturing.  Fathers need to be a leader and sheltering protection from the harsh cruelties of the world their families are placed in.

When the world can see that it doesn’t have to be one or the other –changing the world or being a mom with a full time dedication to her family–then we will be making progress toward a more productive society.

-Kaitlyn

Deep in the heart of the Midwest, Kaitlyn tries to live out her life is service to her Lord and Savior as a writer and child of the Most High.  She juggles the many gift and passions the Lord has given her while remaining at home to help her family in their daily lives.  Kaitlyn is passionately committed to her younger homeschooled siblings, and is devoted to exposing the lies of the Feminist movement that so many young women and men buy into.  She blogs at http://prayforsamuelian.blogspot.com/

Advertisements

You Gotta Read This Article

I love to write. I write for my blogs, I write on my books, I write on forums, I write as much as I can find time to write. I also love to write for other people. And recently I just wrote a guest post that I really don’t want you all to miss out on. I have been planning to write it for this blog for months now, but when The Armchair Theologian[http://musingsofanarmchairtheologian.blogspot.com/] asked me to write a post for him, I decided to let him have it, since he was asking for something along its lines.

So I finished it up and handed it over. And I must say it looks nice with the image he picked for it. So go check it out and let him know what you think.

What are you still doing here? Go on, read it.

Okay, maybe you want to know what it is about before you open it up in another tab and peruse its life-changing contents?

Sure, why not? Here is a snippet:

I just want to find out if I can do it on my own.”

I want to get out of all these rules and limits and live on my own.”

I don’t want to be dependent on other people.”

I can do it.”

I need to live on my own.”

All of the above are statements that I hear pretty often from teenagers approaching their ‘mature’ years of 18-25 or so. Honestly, I hear them all too often for my taste. This is because they are representative of an attitude of independence that is fundamentally in opposition with God.

Yes, I know, I am pretty bold sometimes. But you will have to read it to see if I am right or not. 🙂

Well, that’s all for this Saturday Serendipity post!

God bless.

Eternal Focus

Greetings, and welcome to another guest post! This time I got Tim Sleeper from The Young Heretics Club. We have been friends for a little while on the internet, and I always enjoy hearing his perspective on random, and not-so-random, issues. So without too much ado, here is his article on Eternal Focus!

——–

When Jay asked me what my thoughts were on focus, it seemed like a joke. I was thinking about suggesting something else to write about that was more interesting and “theological”. But, I decided to stick with the topic I was given. Even though I knew all there was to know about focus, I studied it out anyways. What I found blew my mind. Here are only a few facts to get started:

  • The word “focus” does not appear in the Bible
  • The words “focus” and “concentrate” have different meanings
  • Ironically, the application of “focus” (depending on the definition) is very broad

I thought for sure Paul mentioned focus at least once, I have used the words “focus” and “concentrate” interchangeably, and I thought the application of focus was very narrow. Turns out I was wrong (put that in your record book). This subject gets very deep, but I will try to present as much as I can. However, it isn’t very detailed, so, please take what I say here and study it out for yourself.

To start, I have to define the word “focus”. I also mentioned “concentrate” is different from “focus”, so I will define that as well. There are different definitions for focus, and I think all of them have some application in the Christian’s life, but for this post I will focus on one of the definitions. Put simply:

Focus means to “pay particular attention to”

Concentrate means to “focus all of one’s attention or mental effort on an object or activity”

By definition, “concentrate” indicates an intense form of focus.

We got definitions out of the way, the next question that needs to be asked is “how does focus relate to the believer?” Valid question to which the answer is both simple and complicated. It’s simple as to who we focus on (Christ), but it’s not so simple as to how that focus plays out in its application. To answer the question, I will start out by mentioning that our concentration is on God. God is the creator and author of all things. He owns us. Our concentration, therefore, goes to Him. As a result of that concentration, we focus on His will and His will is to make us into the image of His Son, Jesus Christ. Therefore, I think it reasonable to say our focus is to be on Christ. Now, I don’t get this from only looking at it logically, there is also Biblical support for it.

This brings us to Philippians chapter 3. In Philippians 3 Paul is saying that he counts all his gain as loss that he may gain Christ. Paul doesn’t want his own righteousness, he wants the righteousness that comes through faith in Christ that he “may know Him and the power of His resurrection, and the fellowship of His sufferings, being made conformable unto His death” Philippians 3:10 (emphasis mine). We are to be conformed to the death of Christ. That is our primary focus.

To whiplash to the next question, “what do we focus on and what distracts us from our focus?” The answer to what we focus on is found in Philippians (again)! In chapter 3, verses 18-21 Paul is comparing two different kinds of people: followers of self and followers of Christ. For the followers of self, their end is destruction (Phil 3:19). For the followers of Christ, their end is life with Christ in heaven (Phil 3:20-21). We focus on the end, not the here and now. If we focused on the present, following self would be almost irresistible. Instant gratification, easy life, wants fulfilled, etc. However, if we focus on the end, following self may seem attractive at first, but we then see the end to that lifestyle and walk away. Following Christ certainly does not give you instant gratification, but an eternity with our Lord Jesus Christ has no comparison and is worth all sacrifice.

When I first started writing I was going to give the example of types of media when it comes to distractions from our focus. Instead, I am going to give an example that is a little more inclusive and is (in my opinion) the root of all sin…PRIDE. The unholy trinity of “me, myself, and I”. In everything we do we are faced with two options: follow what God wants, or follow what we want. Ask yourself “how many times have I backed down on doing the right thing because it was hard, uncomfortable, inconvenient, etc?” Man’s natural lean is to serve himself. Do we not eat when we are hungry or sleep when we are tired? Our natural bent is to see to it that we are comfortable. That greatly distracts us from our focus on Christ. Jesus said in order to follow Him we have to deny ourselves. Our focus matters…BIG TIME! We can take the easy road and focus on self and lose our lives in the process (what a great deal), or we can take the narrow way, lose our lives, seek Christ, and gain our lives. We cannot not focus on the perishable and the here-and-now. We must focus on Christ and the eternal.

Hopefully that all made sense. I had three pages of notes and wish I could share them all. For discussion, what are some other distractions you can think of? Why is it important that our minds (focus) are to be on the things above?

How Immature of You!

Welcome to my second guest post! This one is done by one of my other closest friends on the internet, a man of many names. I know him best as Neil of Erk, because that is what I first met him as (on Holy Worlds). He is also known as Jordan Wright, and as the author of his blog, Beware the Darkness, where I recently did a guest post for him. I am honored to now post his article on something which I consider to be of prime importance.

So without further ado, welcome Neil of Erk!

——–

Most, if not all, of the people who read this post probably desire to be mature. The difference is mainly in our perceptions of mature people, and what we mean when we use the word “mature”. I would like to briefly cover several different forms of maturity, and then discuss the final, and most valuable, form of maturity: Spiritual maturity.

First, there is physical maturity. This “maturity” is largely relative, but clear in certain areas. A child, for example, is generally to be considered physically weak, in need of physical support, and is clearly still working on mastering hand-eye coordination. A young man is often said to be in “the peak of physical condition”, “fit”, or “healthy”. Such young people are usually strong and well coordinated. This is generally what we mean by physical maturity. Older people sometimes said to have reached “a ripe old age”, a statement that refers to a fruit that has ripened.

There is also mental maturity. Children are usually poor logicians; the wise and sage elders are often the masters of logic. Children usually have difficulty understanding scientific concepts, while those “over the hill” seem to be the greatest scientists. Mental maturity is the most intangible form of maturity, because it is often based on our own personality type, and other such relative factors, which cause us to compare other persons to our self.

The greatest, and second most tangible, form of maturity is spiritual maturity. It is my personal belief, based on Biblical and natural principles, that there are three stages of spiritual life, and when a person is fulfilling their current role in these three stages, they are to be considered mature.

When a child is born into the world, they are also born into submission, the first stage of a long walk through life. During the time of submission children and youths are like untamed colts, to be broken to the will of the Lord, so that they may serve him better. This is a period of weakness. We serve, and slave, and are not to question, merely to do, for in doing is learning. The lessons of submission form the building blocks of the next stage of our lives.

When a young man or woman is fully submitted to their parents and the Lord, then they ought to be considered “adult” in their behavior. At this point the path men will walk becomes different from the path woman will walk, mostly in timing, but also in direction.

When a young man has been fully broken, God considers him ready for his tasks, and empowers him with the spiritual powers to perform these tasks. This marks the entrance to manhood, as well as the departure from submission and the entry into the stage of strength. This is not to say that the lessons and rules of submission change, but a man’s place in the world has changed. He is not quickly becoming an authority. This is the path of strength, and its lessons and trials will consume most of a man’s life.

The journey of strength is different for a woman, because while she may become an authority figure as a parent, she will also be in submission to her husband, rather than a boss at the office, or some other employer. This might almost be considered a blessing, because a woman will be constantly reminded of the lessons of submission, and yet, will still have many authority positions.

Finally, we come to sacrifice. Usually women enter this stage before men, but it appears similarly for both.

A person who is fully committed to the stage of sacrifice has reached the age where they must let go of the gifts they have been given. Eye sight fades, hearing become unclear, the limbs move slowly, even the mind is effected. But that alone is no sacrifice, it is just loss.

Sacrifice is even more. Not only are the elderly loosing their gifts and strengths, but those who are wise begin spend what little strength they have left on the younger generation: Pouring out their strength and wisdom to those farther behind on the path. The leader becomes the advisor. The warrior becomes the teacher.

Now, I might argue that those who reach the stage of sacrifice are the mature, but that’s not how I see it. Allow me to explain.

Each stage has a sort of “Code of Honor” behind it. Submission, Strength, Sacrifice, they all have a code and set of concepts that guide you through the stage. I believe those that truly understand and follow these “codes” are the mature.

The youth who is truly submitted to authority. The adult who is boldly using their spiritual gifts, wisely ordering those who have been placed under them. The elderly, gently and strongly giving away that spiritual power, giving up leading for advising, strength for sacrifice.

These people, they are the mature.

You will do well to learn from them.

Humility AND Self-Esteem??

I would like to welcome Carissa Mann to the writing end of my blog. She has been a good friend and a helpful editor in my many projects, not the least this blog. So I am honored to have her do a guest post here.

Carissa is the oldest of seven, homeschooled, rebelutionary, and can be feisty at times (says me). She blogs regularly and infrequently at Lily of the Valley and Rejoice Always (among other places).

———

Reading in E. M. Bounds works on prayer (again!) I read about prayer and humility. His definition of humility is “to have a low estimate of ones self…” He includes some great little poems about humility:

“Never let the world break in,
Fix a mighty gulf between;
Keep me humble and unknown,
Prized and loved by God alone.”

And:
“Let the world their virtue boast,
Their works of righteousness;
I, a wretch undone and lost,
Am freely saved by grace;
Other title I disclaim,
This, only this, is all my plea,
I the chief of sinners am,
But Jesus died for me.

Also:
“O that now I might decrease!
O that all I am might cease!
Let me into nothing fall!
Let my Lord be all in all.”

Wow! That is how I want to be! Sadly, I find I fall quite short.

Thinking about this subject of humility, I was sitting at the table doing… something, and I heard Zig Ziglar talking to Papa. (Okay, so it was a recording!) Anyway, he was talking about self-esteem. And I, being ever so intellectual, was thinking, How can you possibly be both humble and esteem yourself well?

And, being the wise and curious person that I am, (haha) I asked my dear and very wise Papa just that. (Well, I didn’t say those exact words…)

Well, being the wonderful Papa that he is, he shut off Mr. Ziglar (sorry Zig!), and explained to me that we should realize that God made us, and that he created us in His image. Therefore, to look down on ourselves would be to look down on one of His creations. So to a Christian, Self-esteem is really God-esteem. The only reason we are worth anything is because God created us and loved us and saved us. Without Him, we are utterly, completely worthless, helpless, and unsaved.

So I think you can figure out how that works out. We are humble because we realize that we are worthless and can’t save ourselves, and deserve the wrath of God. But we esteem the work that God has done in creating and saving and loving us.

Now that we hopefully have a clearer picture of how this all works out in theory, here is a practical example:

One case where you need both humility and “self (God) esteem” is when you are teaching someone. (This example is also from my Papa)   If you have an attitude of just “humility” you’ll be like, “I’m a sinner, I can do nothing, I’m terrible at this, we might as well all go home.” If you just have “great self esteem” you will be like, “Oh, I have this humility thing down just right. Y’all just watch me and you’ll see how to do it. I am always humble.” If you have both mindsets, you can tell them openly that you still struggle with this, but by the grace of God, you have been able to make progress in this area, and you’d like to share what you’ve been taught with them.

I don’t know about you, but I struggle more with pride than with having a low view of my self. 🙂 So, how do we gain more humility?

There are many ways we can humble ourselves; For example, admitting that you were wrong about something and asking forgiveness, taking a younger sibling’s advice and correction (this one is particularly hard for me), not taking/seeking recognition for something you’ve done, and so on. Also, the more we learn about God and how BIG He really is, the more we will gain a proper view of ourselves.

Hopefully that made some sense! Feel free to add your own thoughts in the comments!