Dust Love Come

Greetings,

Here is a poem I wrote a while ago. Let me know what you think. I don’t write much poetry. πŸ™‚

Dust
Tears
Never
Forever
Stifling my spirit
Broken, and chained, coming loose
When will my heart be wholly unified with His own?
Love
Hope
Always
Together
His sweet Spirit here
Weak and wounded, yet, am able
Carried on by the strength of His Word and His presence.
Come
Yield
Give up
Surrender
He will take you there
Trust Him and rest in His greatness
Open your life and your soul to His great benevolence!

What do you think? Did you catch the pattern? Did you understand it? Was it good? I wrote a tune for it to be sung to as well, but it isn’t what I want. If any of you would like to try and set it to music that would be cool. πŸ˜‰

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19 Responses

  1. Dude, that would make a pretty sweet song! Good going! πŸ˜€

    Is that a kind of predefined meter or is that original? Cool poem!

    • Thanks! I can imagine the essence of the tune, but I can’t get it very solid.

      Well, I have never seen anyone use it before. So I made it up. But I based it off of something. Can you guess what?

  2. Yes, yes, yes. πŸ˜€

    Very nice, Jay! I like it. πŸ˜€ The pattern looks really cool!

  3. Hm…I’d be tempted to put it to music, but I’m not sure you’d like the style I had in mind. Ever heard of Mat Kearney? Well, it would be something like the style of his debut album, Bullet. Think of DC Talk or Toby Mac but with a more simplistic and clearly country influenced style.

    Other than that, Wonderful style. And, it creates a rhythm that doesn’t require a text book to figure out. Which is handy, all things considered.

    • Well, I actually am very genre independent. I went and hunted down his song called ‘Bullet’ on Grooveshark. I don’t mind that kind. I actually kind of like it sometimes. πŸ™‚ Go for it! I would like an interesting variety maybe… one person set it to rap, another to classical, etc. Haha! πŸ˜€

      Thanks! It is a very natural rhythm. πŸ˜‰

  4. Well, my brother and I discussed it, and I’m going to try to get that style solo, but then we’re going to try to just get a simple acoustic guitar, minor-ish sort of song together. Then you can pick your favorites!

    Classical, eh? Maybe you should translate it into Latin, and make it a plainsong?

  5. I know Latin. Haha Not elvish… >_> Jay, you know elvish?

  6. Amazing poem Jay!
    I think it was very easy to understand.
    I remeber writing a poem in a style alot like that one for school years ago.
    Great job! πŸ™‚

  7. Wow, Jay. That was beautiful. πŸ™‚ I’d love to hear it with music. πŸ˜€

  8. I like it. πŸ™‚ Who does the “his” in the seventh line refer to? God?

  9. I don’t know, this song in Latin might be pretty neato! (Although I think it’s very cool in English, too.)

    If you’re interested in teaching yourself Latin, Jay, here is a good resource:

    http://www.thelatinroad.com/

    I took the first two volumes when I was in high school — they have an extremely thorough course. Check it out!

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